STATES.CC

Drag Race in Turkey Goes Bad

Posted on December 30th, 2006 by William.
Categories: You can't make this up..

WARNING: This is a bit graphic.

12/28/2006 - This is a clip from a drag race in Turkey. One of the cars loses control and smashes into a crowd of people sending one guy over 85ft in the air.

I’m sure some American company will gladly sell them the same safety equipment that’s in use at every track in the US.

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High Def Format Wars Over??

Posted on December 30th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Tech.

Charlie Demerjain over at The Inquirer (the tech-ish site) shares his opinion on the High Def format wars and how the media companies are screwing thier customers. I do recommend that you go to the original site, he’s got links to various other stories in case you don’t know the background of each of the facts he brings up.

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Head Caught in Fence

Posted on December 29th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Humor.

Head Stuck In Fence

Watch Video

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Famous Quotes

Posted on December 29th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Humor.

I haven’t verified these, but just enjoy them and laugh.

“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.”
–Tom Clancy

“You know “that look” women get when they want sex? Me neither.”
–Steve Martin

“Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner,
you’d better have a good hand.”
–Woody Allen

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday
night.”
–Rodney Dangerfield

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-
Benz 380SL.”
–Lynn Lavner

“Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at
the taxidermist.”
–Matt Barry

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”
–George Burns

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight
are unimportant.”
–George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships.”
–Sharon Stone

“My girlfriend always laughs during sex —no matter what she’s
reading.”
–Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
–Jack Nicholson

“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
–Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady– and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s
genitals through his wallet.”
–Robin Williams

“Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself.”
–Roseanne

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
–Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men
are just grateful.”
–Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
–Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I
know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.”
–Jerry Seinfeld

“Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t
like and just give her a house.”
–Rod Stewart

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time.”
–Robin Williams

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Metaphors Gone Bad…

Posted on December 28th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Humor.

Every year, English teachers from across the country submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are last year’s winners…..

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse, without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

CLICK HERE for original site

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Remember When Governments Were Just Stupid Rather Than Nasty?

Posted on December 28th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Humor.

Some great quotes from some English talking heads.

THE WISDOM OF THE TORIES

“Political suicide can end a career.”

- John Major

“Suicide is a real threat to health.”

- Virginia Bottomley

“Anyone would think we were living on some island somewhere.”

- George Walden

“It’s not the future I’m talking about, I’m talking about tomorrow.”

- John Gummer

“The trend in the rise in unemployment is downward.”

- Gillian Shepherd

“The more important things are more important than the less important
things.”

- Stephen Dorrell

“When the IRA plant such bombs, it proves they can scare people, it
proves they can kill people, it proves nothing.”

- Peter Bottomley

“We said zero, and I think any statistician will tell you that… zero
must mean plus or minus a few.”

- William Waldegrave

“Who Sadam Hussein kills, dies.”

- Jeffrey Archer

“There’s no smoke without mud being flung around.”

- Edwina Currie

“I will never forget the 1981, or was it 1982? honours list.”

- Julian Critchley

“All those people who say that there will never be a Single European
Currency are trying to forecast history.”

- Kenneth Clark

“The British public sees with blinding clarity.”

- Michael Heseltine

“You know what they say, don’t get mad, get angry.”

- Edwina Currie

“We are not wholly an island, except geographically.”

- John Major

Original site is HERE 

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Serve No Food Until It’s Art

Posted on December 27th, 2006 by William.
Categories: General.

Mom always said “Don’t play with your food”, but clearly some people didn’t learn that lesson.

Here’s some excellent artwork made from watermelon

WATERMELON ART and here’s some wonderful ESPRESSO ART

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Santa Was Listening

Posted on December 26th, 2006 by William.
Categories: Tech.

CLICK HERE to go to a gallery of my comfort mount.

When I opened the box containing my Comfort Mount, it was a wonderful delight to find craftsmanship of such high quality. The very first part, and every part in the box, was extremely solid - this goes well with the “overkill is just a starting point” mentality of the house.

It’s very nice to have a Dell 24 inch widescreen flat panel at my side while sitting in the leather perch and watching a movie. Now I can look up actors via IMDB.com, check email, surf the web, and work at the speed of thought while watching what’s on the Tivo in surround sound. I have seen the future and the future is good.

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Man Vs Nature Battles Ends in Fumes of Death

Posted on December 25th, 2006 by William.
Categories: General, Humor, You can't make this up..

This thread has a lot of adult language - You’ve been warned.

CLICK HERE for the entire thread

Basically, this guy goes down to Florida for Christmas and some bees start to take over the swing set. He’s not about to allow the bees to take over the swing set, so the war has begun. It’s a very humorus play by play of the battle.

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Merry Christmas to All

Posted on December 25th, 2006 by William.
Categories: General.

I hope that everyone out there is having a very merry Christmas. It’s my Christmas wish that everyone has a chance to wade past all the torn wrapping papers, the left over foods and the sleeping pets to get to sit down and reflect on the important things in your world.

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