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SomeGreyBloke on the Swine Flu

Posted on May 4th, 2009 by William.
Categories: Humor.

I’ve just heard of SomeGreyBloke, but after this, you can bet I’ll be looking for more of his things on YouTube.

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

Posted on October 20th, 2008 by William.
Categories: Humor.

12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Volunteer To Give Women Breast Exams

It’s great that the Boy Scouts are working hard to help out the community. I know that I would have attended far more Boy Scout meetings if activities like this were available when I was in the Scouts.

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40 Things Never Said By Southerners

Posted on October 2nd, 2008 by William.
Categories: Humor.

40. Oh I just couldn’t. Hell, she’s only sixteen.
39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won’t fix that.
37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken.
35. We don’t keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can’t feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it’s just not safe.
30. Wrasslin’s fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We’re vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I’ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don’t need another dog.
24. Who’s Richard Petty?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn’t find a thing at Walmart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I’ve got it all on the C drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your salmon poached or broiled?
12. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.
11. I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
09. Checkmate.
08. She’s too young to be wearing a bikini.
07. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
06. Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.
05. I don’t have a favorite college team.
04. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
03. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
02. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
01. Nope, no more for me. I’m drivin tonight.

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Warning About A Very Dangerous Addiction

Posted on October 1st, 2008 by William.
Categories: Humor.

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now

and then to loosen up.  Inevitably though, one thought led to
another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it
wasn't true.  Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job.  I knew that thinking and employment
don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and
Kafka.  I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,
"What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either.  One evening I had
turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.
She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.  One day the boss
called me in.  He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to
say this, but your thinking has become a real problem.  If you
don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."
This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.  "Honey, "
I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver.  "You think as much
as college professors, and college professors don't make any
money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to
cry.  I'd had enough.  "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I
stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a
PBS station on the radio.  I roared into the parking lot and ran
up to the big glass doors...  they didn't open.  The library was
closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me
that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering
for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.  "Friend, is heavy
thinking ruining your life?"  it asked.  You probably recognize
that line.  It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today:  a recovering thinker.  I never
miss a TA meeting.  At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video; last week it was "Porky's."  Then we share experiences
about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.  Life
just seemed...  easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

Note: If anyone knows the original author of this, let me know so I can credit them.

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The Hidden Evil in Gilligan’s Island

Posted on September 30th, 2008 by William.
Categories: Humor.

Gilligan’s Island Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called GILLIGAN’S ISLAND. There is, however, a dark secret about this “comedy” you may never have realized.

The island is a direct representation of hell. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave.

Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins:

- Ginger represents LUST - she wears skimpy outfits, is obsessed with her looks, and is a borderline nymphomaniac.

- Mary Ann represents ENVY - she is jealous of Ginger’s beauty.

- The Professor represents PRIDE - he is an annoying know-it-all.

- Mr. Howell represents GREED - no explanation needed.

- Mrs. Howell represents SLOTH - she has never lifted a finger to help on and of their escape plans.

- The Skipper represents two sins: GLUTTONY - again, no explanation needed and ANGER - he violently hits Gilligan on each show.

- This leaves Gilligan. Gilligan is the person who put them there. He prevents them from leaving by foiling all of their escape plots. Also, it is HIS island. Therefore, Gilligan is SATAN.

Crazy? He does wear red in every episode…

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Walt Disney’s Sin City

Posted on September 21st, 2008 by William.
Categories: General, Humor.

CLICK HERE for original site.

Curt Rapala has put together a series of six images that’s a mashup of the original promotional posters for Sin City, with various females from Walt Disney in the roles. This is simply brilliant. It’s just Curt’s idea… there’s no plans for a movie and I’m fairly sure that Walt Disney would never green light such a killer idea. Now, if some pirates want to create it.. then all bets are off.

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Random Thoughts - Election’s Impact On Entertainment

Posted on September 17th, 2008 by William.
Categories: General, Soap Box, Humor.

Today, it dawned on me how ironic it is that it’s Obama that spouts on and on about ‘change’, but it’s actually the McCain/Palin bill that had the fuel for Tina Fey to change Saturday Night Live into the funny show that it once was.

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3rd Race at The Honeymoon Is Over Downs

Posted on September 15th, 2008 by William.
Categories: Humor, Not Safe For Work.

Warning: NSFW - Very Strong Language

3rd Race at The Honeymoon Is Over Downs

A buddy just brought this to my attention, it’s a reminder of the old Spike Jones skits we used to listen to as kids. Ahhh… there’s no replacement for great comedy.

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